The month of April 2020 has been good to Indian Americans in the media. While the whole world was experiencing unprecedented uncertainty, there was one thing for certain – Indian Americans and South Asians in particular finally made a big splash on mainstream tv and streaming platforms.
The reality show, Family Karma, on Bravo TV and the Netflix original series, Never Have I Ever, created by Mindy Kaling made their debuts. Not one but TWO shows featuring Indian Americans as central characters. And these characters are portrayed as “normal” people meaning they have regular jobs and are living mainstream lives unlike how Indian Americans are typically portrayed. While we’ve had several comedians make it big including Aziz Ansari (Master of None), Mindy Kaling (The Office and The Mindy Kaling Show), Hasan Minaj (Patriot Act) and Russel Peters, Indian Americans have mainly been on the fringes of American society. When we think about Indian Americans or South Asians, images that come to mind are of lonely nerds writing code on their computer sitting in their gloomy bedrooms or walking the halls of high school slouched over disappearing into the background or women wearing saris with the infamous bindhi or “red dot”.
I have lots of mixed feelings about these shows because while they bring Indian Americans into the spotlight, they do perpetuate the stereotypes of the culture. In this post I want to focus on both the positive and negative facets of these two shows.
Why I liked Family Karma and Never Have I Ever:
Diverse cast. Now you must be wondering what I mean by “diverse” when majority of the cast are Indian. Diverse in this instance are young working professionals in a variety of fields from sales and marketing to real estate to the more traditional law to even budding entrepreneurs. As South Asians we are socialized to go into traditional fields of medicine and engineering and many of us do but it’s good to see that that there are many career paths we can pursue and still make a good living. In Family Karma, one of the cast members is gay and he was the most educated out of the bunch (I did a little snooping on LinkedIn) but that’s not the point. Seeing a gay Indian person on screen was surprising albeit needed to give a voice to those who are silenced in the Indian community.
Some Indian cultural habits are normalized. In both shows I loved scenes of families eating food with their hands like its no big deal. And IT’S NO BIG DEAL. Eating with our hands is how Indian food is eaten, just wash your hands before mealtime and you’re good to go. Praying to gods and goddesses. I liked seeing scenes where characters are praying with their families whether for Ganesh puja or car puja or during the engagement ceremony. While the second generation might not be as religious as our parents generation, religion plays a huge part in the Indian community. We may not go to the temple on a regular basis or pray daily but religious rituals are a central part of many traditions so seeing that brought to life in a NBD way was endearing.
Bringing to light issues that are swept under the rug. The Indian community isn’t known for broadcasting problems. We are happy to blast our over the top weddings but when it comes to being open with community problems, then you’ll find us in hiding. I loved seeing Devi in Never Have I Ever going to therapy after her dad’s death. Discussions around mental health, even acknowledging that mental health issues exist is taboo. I was pleasantly surprised to see therapy sessions on screen and addressing how to deal with trauma after a loss in a more healthy manner in the family was a move in the right direction.
Why I disliked Never Have I Ever and Family Karma:
So Many Damn Stereotypes. Both shows and especially Never Have I Ever were filled with so many stereotypes that it was embarrassing seeing brown people depicted on screen this way.
Terrible fake Indian accents! I don’t understand why shows have to exaggerate accents that are completely wrong!!!! Talk to an Indian person with an Indian accent – there are thousands of them in this country. Do research, be realistic, represent accurately. Second, depiction of the arranged marriage process. Times have changed, the world has evolved. And so has the arranged marriage process. Sure kids still feel pressure from their parents to marry – literally every other conversation on Family Karma was about finding a daughter/son-in law but there is choice in arranged marriages. The process happens much faster than might be acceptable in Western society but in educated and modern families girls and guys have a choice as to who they marry. I am tired of seeing arranged marriages being misrepresented in Western society because it gives Indian people such a bad rep. I am not dismissing the aspects of the practice where choice was eliminated or children were forced into marriage, but the modern process is more like online dating or being set up on a blind date.
Shame in being an Indian American. As young adults we’re figuring out who we are and where we belong in this world but does it always have to come at the expense of shunning our South Asian culture?
Never Have I Ever draws heavily from Mindy Kaling’s experiences growing up in a predominantly caucasian neighborhood and many South Asians had similar experiences growing up in the 80s/90s, but I would love to see a push towards depicting South Asians as being proud of their culture.The Ganesh puja episode in particular showcases the embarrassment that Indian Americans feels toward their Indian side. Devi is ashamed of the Bollywood dancing troupe calling them “dorky” or while catching up with her her friend Harish she refers to the event as a “lame fest” and is bidding her time until she can go to Princeton and become an atheist with a white boyfriend. Thankfully, Harish comes back with a strong punch with his realization in college of “being an insecure Indian guy who hates doing Indian things” is a shitty identity.
Even in Family Karma, one cast member admitted to growing up in a predominantly caucasian community where to avoid the name calling and bullying at school, chose to downplay his Indian culture. These offhand comments should strike a chord in parents who should encourage their kids to accept and be curious of different cultures. Otherwise kids who grow up in dual cultural households have to choose a side and inevitably they choose the American and suppress the Indian to fit in. And while this might seem small in the grand scheme of things, feelings of shame and of being an outsider can have much larger consequences in life.
I am just happy to see more South Asians on American tv portrayed in a more real way than ever before. The experience depicted in both shows on the Indian American way of life is just one representation. My experience growing up in NJ were quite different (I’ll write about it another post). I am grateful to have grown up in a community where I had the freedom to explore both sides of my Indian and American cultures and become someone I am proud of.
If these shows get renewed for season two, I would love to see the show push the Indian American community to accept who they are, be realistic about the challenges in life and address them in a healthy way, and break away from the stereotypes.