When I heard that Michelle Obama was writing a book, I couldn’t wait to put it on hold at the local library. I’ve admired her for several years now. As a girl from a middle class family who went to two Ivy League colleges, was a working mom before becoming the First Lady…I was naturally intrigued to learn more about how Michelle Obama became Michelle Obama. She recently became the most admired woman in the world adding to her legacy.
I had high expectations of the book assuming that I would come away with some good lessons that I could apply to my life. We idolize celebrities, athletes, businessmen and women, anyone who is at the top of their game and listen to their words of wisdom hoping that if we follow the same formula we might get a step closer to making it ourselves whatever “making it” means.
I was looking for Michelle Obama’s secret formula to becoming a super cool and admired woman. Surprisingly, I did not come across such a formula. To say that I wasn’t disappointed would be a lie.
As the former First Lady, Michelle Obama clearly had many opportunities and experiences that an ordinary persona wouldn’t even dream about. But while she does focus on some of her major projects and world travels, a greater percentage of the book focuses on her childhood and time before the White House. And as a result, she comes across as a very ordinary girl who through her own determination, good decisions, and support of her family got a great education and later built a career in law and the public sector.
What stood out to me in the book was not her extraordinariness or the privileges afforded to her as the First Lady or as a well-known public figure…it was the normalness of her life, the small moments she shared with her family…the matureness with which she lived her childhood being grounded in reality.
These are the quotes from that book that I resonated with me.
- “I’m an ordinary person who found herself on an extraordinary journey. In sharing my story, I hope to help create space for other stories and other voices, to widen the pathway for who belongs and why.” (Page 420-421).
Obama herself acknowledges the fact that she just is like you and me. Through sheer luck and circumstance she has lived a fantastical life.
- My early successes in life were, I knew, a product of the consistent love and high expectations with which I was surrounded as a child, both at home and at school.” (Page 383).
These words resonate perfectly with my childhood experience. Children who have the love and support of their family and teachers have a greater chance of success. College, a professional career was a given. From an early age if you and your family believe in the power of education opening doors and are in an environment where you can grab the opportunities that you come across, then there is nothing that can stop you. The Indian community has succeeded because education is a key pillar and giving kids a good education as well as stability is pretty much what all parents aim for.
- “I had a loving and orderly home, bus fare to get me across town to school, and a hot meal to come to at night. Beyond that, I wasn’t going to ask my parents for a thing.” (Page 60).
I absolutely love this quote. In high school, Michelle’s class was planning a field trip to Paris. She knew that her parents most likely wouldn’t be able to afford the trip and did not want to financially burden them. Even as a teenager Michelle Obama was acutely aware of her situation…her parents situation. She saw the sacrifice her parents made for her brother and herself and she didn’t want to put additional pressure on them. This awareness and maturity reminds me of me. I remember being in several situations where I knew when to ask my parents for something and when not to. It’s not as easy to do as a kid, especially growing up in a wealthy community when all you want is to keep up with your friends.
- “So many of us go through life with our stories hidden, feeling ashamed or afraid when our whole truth doesn’t live up to some established ideal. We grow up with messages that tell us that there’s only one way to be American — that if our skin is dark or if our hips are wide, if we don’t experience love in a particular way, if we speak another language or come from another country, then we don’t belong. That is, until someone dares to start telling that story differently.” (Page 415).
Michelle Obama and her magical words. I couldn’t have said it better myself. She expresses exactly what I have been thinking recently. I started my blog for precisely this reason — to share my story… particularly the parts that not many want to talk about. Experiencing anxiety, feelings of failure after business school, loneliness. Not to fear my life wasn’t all negative. Discovering paint by numbers, pushing myself to build a network in a new city and so much more. Being open and honest and telling a story that was both happy and sad at the same time was an important step for me to take especially, as an Indian America. And as I wrote in my 2019 goals, I want to share more of my story this year.
I loved this book for its ordinariness. The most important lesson I learned is…own your own story, whatever that might be. I’m learning to own mine.