In an earlier blog post I’ve written about how hard it is to make friends when you move to a new city or in the workplace. Bumble BFFs and Meetup groups are a great way to get involved and meet new people, but as we grow these new friendships, its important to remember to nurture our old friendships.
For the last two weekends the weather has been pretty dreary in Atlanta. While I watched endless episodes of Full House (my recent obsession), I also spent hours on the phone catching up with my friends. I’ve been friends with some of these girls since 6th grade! Even my undergrad friends and I have now been friends for over a decade. Wow I’m getting old 🙁
I find that these days people avoid having real person to person conversations. Sending a quick text or commenting on a Facebook post make it easy to keep in touch, but I find these ways to be very impersonal. There is no real back and forth dialogue and people respond at their own leisure. Messages communicated through tone of voice or facial expressions are lost. Emojis only go so far. While I do have conversations via text with my friends – let’s be real how else will I keep myself occupied during the workday — I crave “real” conversations.
Every once in a while I spend a few days having multiple phone and Skype conversations with my best friends. Catching up on each others lives, sharing our fears and thoughts. Even with those friends who I talk to once every few months, it feels like nothing has changed between us. These conversations make me feel connected to my friends and bring us even closer to each other.
These conversations keep the feelings of loneliness and isolation at bay, even if for a few hours. I’m reminded that while my I’m still building friendships in a new city, I still have awesome friends around the world. Genuine friends who share their struggles, ask for advice, and comfortingly are dealing with many of the same issues that I am. It is truly comforting to know that I am not alone in feeling the way that I feel. Late 20s/early 30s are years fraught with lots of self doubt, self reflection, loneliness, and in general feelings of being unsettled in life.
Nurturing these friendships has taken a lot of effort and I haven’t always done a good job. I was MIA while studying for my GMATs and during business school, but since I started working I’ve thankfully had plenty of time to catch up with my friends. My only wish is that I live in the same town as they do so we can actually meet in person. Until then I will gladly pick up the phone over giving myself carpal tunnel syndrome.
The next time you want to catch up with a friend, set up a phone date instead of sending that text.