If we pay attention to what we say to ourselves whether out loud or silently, you’ll notice that many of our thoughts are negative. I find myself complaining about things throughout the day from my train being late to not doing impactful and interesting work to my lack of sleep to on and on and on. These negative thoughts are not healthy for the mind or body.
And while we consciously or subconsciously wallow in our negativity, we forget about all the positive things going on in our lives. When I first moved to Atlanta and was having a difficult time adjusting and was feeling disappointed with my career trajectory and post-MBA life, all I would do was talk about the things that were going wrong in my life. “I don’t know anyone in Atlanta.” “I can’t relate to the people I work with.” or “This job is not exactly what I want to do” or “I feel like I failed to meet my goals after business school.” Not only was I focusing on the negative aspects of my life, but I was seeking out others who were also negative and complained. This validated my feelings and made me feel a part of this downtrodden clique.
But what good is wallowing in the have-nots?
As this negativity permeated my daily life, someone made me realize that while things were not going as I wanted, there were things in my life that I should be grateful for. Achievements I should be proud of. People I should be thankful for. So how should I remind myself of the good things in my life?
Many of you have probably heard of a gratitude journal and have tried to keep one at some point. I did too. Before going to bed I would write down 3-5 things I was grateful for. This habit lasted for a 1-2 weeks after which I stopped. For some reason I could not maintain this journal and it became more of a chore than an enjoyable activity.
If you’re feeling this way but want to remind yourself of positive events and aspects of your life, this tip might help you start and maintain this habit.
Tip: Either say out loud or to yourself 3-5 things you are grateful for either before or after or while you’re doing something you do everyday. Like after brushing your teeth or while driving to work. I pray everyday so after my prayers I spend a minute or two saying to myself the things I am grateful for from that day. This can range from going on a nice long run to sharing a joke with a co-worker to catching up with my friends and family (over the phone – texts DO NOT count!)
Tacking on your “gratitude journal” to an activity that you do daily makes it much easier to keep up with the habit than sitting every night before bed to write. Other priorities quickly become more important and the daily grind make it harder to find time to sit and write. I do forget a day here and there but I have been more consistent with taking stock of the good things in my life for a few weeks now.
I won’t go into all the health benefits of keeping a (verbal) gratitude journal because this is well documented. A simple Google search will yield many results. Instead, below is what I am grateful for in no particular order:
- Having an amazing family and friends (who might not be in the same city as me) but text me and call me everyday!
- Having a good and well paying job
- Having easy access to fresh fruits and vegetables
- Finding content for this blog and sharing it with a few folks. Opening up to others and having them read my mind was a big bold step I took.
- Joining a Tennis team and playing competitively for the first time!
- Traveling to London, Paris, and India (twice)
- Cooking at home and eating healthier
- Moving into my own apartment for the very first time
- Starting meditation
- Having a good boss and co-workers who make going into work a little less dreadful
What are you grateful for? Be kind to yourself and make a list of how awesome you are and how wonderful your life is.
P.S. If you still don’t believe the experts and myself when we say that writing down or saying out loud or silently what you are grateful for will not make you fee positive, then at read about the Queen of Media – Ms. Oprah Winfrey.