“There are years that ask questions, there are years that answer.”
– Zora Neale Hurston
I came across this fantastic quote in the book that I’m currently reading, In the Country We Love – A Family Divided by Diane Guerrero. This quote is apt for what my life has been like this past year and what I imagine it will continue to be like for the next few years as I transition from my late 20s to my early 30s. This blog embodies just that – me asking myself questions that I hope with time will be answered.
2016 and 2017 have been years that asked me, “Who am I?” “Where do I belong?” ” With whom do I belong?” “What makes me happy?” What fulfills me in life?” “What does living a successful life look like to me?”
My hope is that is that future years will give the answers to these questions.
As I’ve written before I did not anticipate that I would feel this lost after finishing business school. Until business school I had my life pretty much laid out in front of me.
Finish basic education through high school –> go to college –>graduate from college –>start working/career –>go to graduate school (business school in my case) –>start a new career –>??????? NO PLAN!
(Well the plan is to get married, have kids, continue working…) But let’s not get into this now.
Not having a plan for what’s to come in the future definitely threw me in a tizzy. While in my finance job, I knew that I had an escape route – business school. The main appeal of business school was to transition my career and have a fresh new start. That clearly has not worked out and many of my classmates are in the same situation either with their company or their job but the scary thing this time is that there is no easy escape route. There is going to be no break from working for the next 40 years before retirement. (Unless I win the lottery!!!) The honeymoon phase of the job becomes shorter. Work days quickly become monotonous and the daily grind taxing.
And this is scary. For me at least. Work can easily become boring when you’re not learning anything new or challenging yourself or feeling like you are adding value. School is different in this way. You’re always taking new classes and learning new material. There is no time for boringness or repetitiveness.
As a result of this lack of motivation at work along with my move have been the reason that 2016 and 2017 have been a rollercoaster ride. And this is why these years have asked me the questions they have.
Many people look to college to help them figure out who they are and what they want out of life. Those years are the years they ask themselves all kinds of questions. Looking back I would say that wasn’t really true for me. I enjoyed high school a lot and I was happy with the person that I was back then. I did not go to college to discover myself. Those years I did ask questions, but for me those years were the years that I found answers and these answers reinforced who I already knew myself to be.
It wasn’t until last year that I realized how much I had changed for better or worse or how much societal,cultural, parental expectations and influences have impacted my thoughts. What I hope through self discovery and by powering through these tumultuous years, is that I find the answers to the questions I am looking for and come out being a more happy and fulfilled person in life.
If you’re like me and going through somewhat of a life crisis or put in a different way going through a few years that ask tough questions, my best advise is to take the time to find answers to these questions. While painful, it might result in living a more happy and fulfilled life.