My move to Atlanta was a rocky one and continues to be rocky. My mood varies week to week. From feeling isolated to realizing that the company and my work did not align with my expectations to having an absentee roommate, I faced another conundrum. How do I make friends?
Making friends at school is easy. You’re surrounded by kids your age who are going through the same experiences as you are and so you have a lot in common with them. From middle school to high school, I spent time with the same people everyday. We had classes together, went on field trips together, had the same homework assignments, went to each others houses for sleepovers, participated in the same activities. And more importantly saw each other 5 days a week at least. This made is easier to develop strong friendships. Most recently, I made a few great friends in business school again because we were all going through a shared experience.
But all of this changes once you enter the workforce. We do spend 5 days a week with our co-workers and work on the same projects and attend the same meetings but making lasting friends at work is hard. These days people switch jobs every 2-3 years. I’ve worked for 5 years (not counting 2 years in business school) and have worked for 3 companies in that time span. Cultivating strong friendships take time and switching jobs often makes it tougher to build longevity into a relationship with a co-worker who could potentially transition into a friend. And at work you’re always competing with your coworkers, whether it is for a promotion or a new opportunity or exposure, which means that you always have to be careful about forming deep friendships with co-workers.
I recently faced this issue when I moved to Atlanta for my new job. I knew a few people from business school but we weren’t that close and my roommate traveled for work and leisure quite a bit. The question I grapled with was “how do I make friends outside of my co-workers?” Answer: Online. Just like online dating you can meet friends online. I don’t mean creepy people you meet on forums or chat rooms (chat rooms! wow I’m getting old). But more genuine friends based on shared interests and background I joined a group on meetup.com for young Indian professional women in their 20s and 30s in Atlanta. Members of this group set up several events – brunches, hikes, potluck party. After a few months of inertia, I finally plucked the courage to attend one of these events. I must say all that apprehension was for nothing.
I realized that most of the girls were also new to Atlanta and in the same boat as me. They too were interested in meeting new people, discovering a new town, and in general making friends outside the workplace. I’ve now hung out several time with a few of the girls and while the determination on whether they will be good friends or not is a long ways away, I have people to experience the city of Atlanta with.
Not only are sites like meetup.com becoming more popular but dating apps have expanded to help people find friends. Bumble BFF, Tinder Social are making it easier to find a group of friends. So if you’ve moved to a new city or are looking to meet new people and don’t know where to start – try one of the apps or join a meetup group. Take it from a skeptic turned believer – they do work. If not love then at least friendship.