Chai and Football

My roommate in business school and I would have great conversations about what it meant to be Indian American and how we connected with both cultures. What we agreed on is that there is an “Indian American spectrum” and where you fall within that spectrum is impacted by language, food, music, arts, politics, your values, beliefs, family and more importantly the environment that you grow up in. Growing up as an Indian American in NJ is not comparable as growing up as one in Indiana.

Recently, all my life changes have made me think about how I connect with both cultures and what aspects of each I want to carry forward. After moving to NJ as a nine year old, I was lucky to grow up in a diverse community where my friends also had similar backgrounds as me – recent immigrants to the US learning to adapt to American culture. Looking back I do think that having friends who were going through similar challenges as me along with being friends with kids who were born and raised in the US and who were from various ethnicities, had a huge impact on feeling more secure about the individual I was growing up to be. The environment I grew up in gave me the opportunity and the time to explore where on the Indian American spectrum I wanted to fall. And this is always a moving target.

Here’s how I connect to my American side:

1. Embracing football (Go Patriots!). First came the Superbowl (+ commercials) then came watching the regular season and understanding the game then came Superbowl party food, culminating in watching the game live. Go Patriots! 5 Superbowl rings!!!
2. Making American or more accurately western food at home. I first learned to make pasta during my 7th grade Lifeskills class and never looked back since. I started to experiment with pasta sauces – my sundried tomato pesto sauce is yummy indeed. Pizza is a given. No teenage birthday party is a success without pizza, sandwiches, and brownies or chocolate chip cookies. In recent years we started celebrating Thanksgiving but with a twist – on a Friday with all the regular tidings.
3. Middle school dances introduced me to the world of pop music consisting of boy bands, Britney Spears, Destiny’s Child and my 2004 Green Day obsessed summer. As I tuned into the radio, hip hop expanded my world and the likes of Ludacris, Snoop Dog, Ciara, were top artists in my iPod nano. That’s right I’m ancient – iPod nano ancient. These days I listen to top 40 mostly because I dance better than I sing.
4. Sleepovers are a right of passage to the adult world. Movies and books are a given. The Boxcar Children and Nancy Drew books drew me into the world of American authors. Edith Wharton, F Scott Fitzgerald, The Scarlet Letter, Transcendentalism, dominated my high school years. As an avid reader, I love reading a variety of authors and genres but I’m highly influenced by American authors.
5. Political, economical, and the general going-ons in the country. Not too long ago, the only channel I could watch live was CNN (I didn’t have cable and logged in to my parents account – shhh don’t tell the cable companies). During the week day my evenings looked liked this: tea time: Wolf Blitzer (The Situation Room) and Outfront (Erin Burnett) –> dinner time: Anderson Cooper 360 –> Clean up and next day prep time: Primetime with Chris Cuomo. By the time Don Lemon began his broadcast he could’ve called me on his show as a panelist. I was a political expert.
6. My values and beliefs are inevitably shaped by the environment I grew up in, but are an amalgam of both Indian and American belief system. Too many and too complex to cover in this post.
7. Lastly and most importantly, when I think of the word Home, I think of Central NJ and defining the place as such makes me American (in my eyes).

Here’s how I connect to my Indian side:

1. Food food food. Coming from a foodie family, cooking and eating Indian food is a must. I grew up eating Indian food and liking it so why stop now? When I realized I could no longer go home on a weekly basis to pick up my mom’s food, I had to cook for myself and Indian food is not only tasty but its healthy. Plus being 95% vegetarian Indian cuisine is the best plant based cuisine to eat. But in the food department is where I shift on the spectrum quite a bit because in general I love experimenting with food so my culinary world spans the globe.
2. Being family oriented. I know that this is not just an Indian thing but family first is the moto ingrained in the Indian culture. The self like in the Western world is not at the center, the family is. While I love spending time with my family and have always wanted one of my own, I am shaped by the American and modern world ideals of valuing the self first. I’m glad that I took the time in my 20s to study, travel, live in different states and countries, explore my interests and hobbies all of which shaped the person I am today.
3. Language. Having moved here at a slightly older age I was secure in speaking my native language. While I cannot read or write (never had the opportunity to learn) being able to speak Marathi helps me connect better with my culture and especially my extended family.
4. Cultural activities. Throughout high school I was involved in semi-classical Indian dance competitions and this was my way doing something cultural and fun. Side bar: dancing is a great workout. No wonder I maintained my weight. Since undergrad I’ve been less involved in cultural activities and I’ve transitioned to other ways of being Indian.
5. Entertainment. Bollywood music and movies are now pervasive and while I do enjoy as my friends says I live in a different decade. So if you need recommendations for the latest beats or the hottest movie, I highly recommend reaching out to another Indian American or Google.
6. See #6 in my connecting to American side list

I love making lists and while I have listed ways in which I connect with being both an Indian and an American, it isn’t as well-defined. There are many nuances and I draw upon both cultures to navigate through life. Being an Indian American definitely makes life interesting.

Vada pav and football anyone?